By H. William Edgar | Edgar & Dow
When a parent tells me a child has suddenly stopped wanting visits, I take it seriously and ask what changed. I want dates, the child’s behavior, and any credible safety concerns. I use those facts to decide what relief to ask for under Family Code §§ 3011 and 3020.
A child’s resistance may reflect a difficult transition, strained relationships, pressure from an adult, or a safety concern. Document what you saw, what the child reported, and what another person observed. Distinguish those sources. Look for a change in attendance, behavior, or exchange patterns and identify when it began. If a child describes abuse, seek appropriate assistance and legal advice promptly.
Bring the operative order, dated exchange records, and complete communications showing how each parent tried to facilitate contact. If a supervisor or neutral observer saw the event, identify what that person can say from firsthand knowledge. Avoid asking a child to gather evidence, choose a parent, or repeatedly retell events. A child interview, evaluation, or minor’s counsel may be appropriate depending on the issues and the court’s procedures.
Identify the exact outcome the requested service or order would achieve. Family Code section 3193 limits specified reunification programs, including programs with certain separation or coercion requirements described by the statute. Review the actual proposed program, methods, costs, and conditions. A focused exchange order, safety assessment, or other targeted intervention may address a demonstrated problem. Support the proposal with evidence about this child and the reasons the approach fits.
In In re Marriage of LaMusga (2004) 32 Cal.4th 1072, the court considered each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent in a relocation dispute. Focus on concrete conduct, such as repeated canceled exchanges or withheld information, and explain what relief would address the effect on the child.
One child begins resisting visits after a move and another starts refusing after reporting a frightening incident. Similar behavior can have different causes. The chronology, what the child actually said, and what neutral witnesses observed can guide the inquiry. A request for a remedy should identify the facts that support it and explain how it addresses the child’s situation.
A child attended visits regularly until an exchange went badly. One parent alleges interference. The other says the child became frightened by something that happened during a visit.
Build the timeline from neutral observations where possible. Identify what each parent said and did and what the child reported, without asking the child to choose a side. Ask counsel how to raise any safety concern and whether an interview or focused evaluation could address the disputed facts.
If a service or program is proposed, obtain its written requirements, identify the court authority, and evaluate whether it is permitted. If the dispute concerns one exchange location, a targeted order may address that problem while the broader factual dispute is considered.
Follow the current order and record concrete efforts to make the child available where safe and appropriate. If the child refuses or describes a safety concern, get prompt advice about how to proceed. A calm timeline of what each adult did helps the judge address the immediate situation.
Define what the evaluator, counselor, or other professional is being asked to investigate. Explain what sources of information exist and what decision the court needs to make. Check whether the requested intervention is lawful, suited to the child, and practical under the circumstances.
Explore the California Child Custody and Visitation Library for more guides on custody and safety.
What Is Minor’s Counsel in a California Custody Case?
How Does Supervised Visitation Work in California, and When Can It End?
Can Text Messages and Social Media Posts Be Used in a California Custody Case?
What Is a Family Code Section 3111 Child Custody Evaluation?
What Can I Do About Missed or Late Custody Exchanges in California?
Related reading. What Happens When a Child Refuses Visitation in California?
If you need help applying these rules to your custody or visitation case, contact Edgar & Dow to schedule a consultation. Bring the current orders, the facts affecting your child, and the next deadline so we can assess what relief fits your case.
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