The aftermath of divorce can be difficult to deal with, but you'll eventually learn to heal and realize you're better off now than you ever were before. One of the first steps is showing your ex you don't care about him or her anymore now that the relationship is over. Granted, this can be hard to do on your own right away, but these tips can help guide you toward showing you're truly over your old marriage and ready to move on.
Work on Co-Parenting Effectively
Some divorced parents try to punish their former spouse by refusing to cooperate, but they only end up making things worse for the kids. They might ignore phone calls and purposely cancel or be late picking up or dropping off the children. Avoid doing this, because it's not showing your ex you're over him or her. Instead, it's just making you look like you don't care about your kids. The best thing you can do is put as much time and love into your kids as possible. This will show your ex you're focusing on your children, not your old relationship. It will also prove your ex wrong if he or she has any doubts about your ability to take care of the children after the divorce.
Ask for Help When You Need It
If you're having trouble handling your parenting duties, it's okay to ask for help from people who can teach you what you need to know. Maybe you have friends or family members who can offer support and answer any parenting questions you have. It's better to get help so you can be a better parent than it is to give up and not be the parent you want to be.
Talk to a Professional When You Need To
It's common to have emotional pain after divorce. If you're struggling, the best thing you can do for yourself is get help from a therapist. A professional like this can help you deal with your emotions, making it easier for you to show your ex that you're moving on. This is especially important if you actually haven't quite moved on yet. A therapist can help you finally get to that place, and he or she will equip you with what you need to know in order to show everyone that you're in a healthier spot than before.
Make Your Own Decisions
You might have a new significant other, but he or she is not your children's other parent. This means you shouldn't be letting your new partner make the decisions that you're supposed to make. This is up to you. Once you take control of your parenting authority, rather than handing it over to someone else, you'll feel more confident after your divorce. And this attitude will be obvious to both your children and your former spouse.
Overall, remember that you deserve to be happy after your divorce. Once you truly believe that, your ex will be able to see that you have moved on without him or her. Hopefully, your ex will be glad that the father or mother of their children is happy once again. But if you feel he or she is trying to sabotage your happiness--such as by withholding the children during child visitation--you need to talk to a family lawyer. The Law Office of H. William Edgar can help you so call today for a free consultation.